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• Global Fight • Madison Gay Wrestling Club • |
 BEFORE - People who advertise for wrestling partners are pretty straight forward. (No pun intended.) They're sincere about wanting a match and are willing to accept any limitations you're willing to set. Not convinced? Good. Because there are a lot of jerks out there. And I might be one of them. Scrutiny must be used before accepting any match. Start by taking a close look at the ad the person places on the net. Below is an ad we'll use as an example. Let's go step by step and see what problems you could encounter.WM, 25, 6'0, 235 Wants M/M wrestling. No holds barred. Winner takes all. Willing to travel. Call (555)555-1212 To paraphrase Shakespeare, "God has given us a face, and on the internet we have created another." There's nothing wrong with slightly changing some of your vital statistics such as age and weight. Just remember, if you're willing to electronically shed or gain 10 to 20 pounds so might someone else. After an initial contact it may be a good idea to exchange pictures. Some people are actually looking for wrestling matches no matter what the physical appearance of their opponent is. On the other hand, being visually stimulated by the other wrestler may be the key to whether a match is considered successful or not. |
 ...No holds barred, winner takes all...In my opinion the terms 'no holds barred' and 'winner takes all’ are overused and meaningless. When placing an ad (or reading one) greater detail must be used. If used in the current terms of submission wrestling 'No Holds Barred' refers to a match which does not allow blows to the throat or crotch. It's all a matter of taste whether this description is correct. 'Winner takes all' is even a worse phrase to use. In the adult arena this means the loser can quite literally be used in any manner the winner wishes. (Including making the loser a sexual slave for an unspecified period of time.) It's best to avoid both of these phrases and use clear, distinct terminology to describe what type of match you want. |
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A blow to the throat should be banned from any match you participate in. Even the most unskilled grappler can cause serious damage to someone else's windpipe. And winning due to hospitalization is preposterous. Likewise, sleeper holds also need to be used sparingly. Keeping a sleeper on too long can be very dangerous. |
 During the course of a long match both opponent's faculties may not be at their best. Use common sense when even attempting a potentially dangerous hold. Hospitalization is not funny even if insurance is paying for it. Have a code-word and/or a gesture agreed upon that signals the end of the fall or match. This is often done in S&M circles since verbally saying 'No' is many times part of their practice. If both of you do consent to a street fight it might be a good idea for one, or both, to bring a friend anyway. When tempers flair accidents happen and sometimes rules are forgotten. |
 If a match is of a sexual nature an agreement needs to be made on what type of contact is acceptable. It should be clearly defined (in writing if you wish) and strictly adhered to. Remember, violation of such an agreement could be considered criminal. It may also be criminal if photos or videos of the match are distributed without the consent of both participants. (Check with your local law enforcement agency to see how this applies in your area.) |
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So, you're willing to travel? Good. I live on the east coast, you on the west. See you soon. It's always a good idea to state specifically which area(s) of the country, or world, you're willing to travel right at the very beginning of your correspondence. Make sure you make all the needed arrangements before leaving. It would be disappointing to travel several miles only to disagree about match specifications once you get there. |
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 What would you think of traveling a long distance to wrestle only to find out your host doesn't allow smoking in their house? More and more people's homes are smoke free. Not as common are people who also do not want alcohol in their abode. And what about drugs? Neither party should take offensive if their opponent mentions they don't want to come in contact with illegal substances. Thus, if you're the host...stash your stash! |
 ...Call (555)555-1212...All, and I mean ALL first contacts need to be made through e-mail or snail mail. NEVER call a number freely posted on the net or in an ad. Each month hundreds of people call what they think are domestic numbers only to find out they are international. The sure sign that a phone number is long distance is if it begins with a 011 prefix. But just because a number has ten digits doesn't mean it's within the U.S.. Several pay-for-porn companies have emerged in foreign countries which place ads in U.S. newspapers. Unfortunately some of these numbers are purposely placed in ads not relating to their service. (Such as For Sale and Want ads.) Even though the phone company is aware of this problem the customer is ultimately responsible for paying his own bill. It's always a good idea to call your local operator and verify the area code you're calling. It may save you from paying a few dollars for a few second phone call. |
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If you're lucky enough to have a spare room available for wrestling make sure you have a covering over the floor area. Carpet padding will only protect so much. And besides, carpet burns look nasty. (Yeah, yeah, I know. Some people are into that sort of thing.) If you're lucky you may have a large furniture reseller in your area. Many times they throw away their padding which is superb for a buffer between the floor and yourself. Even if they are small pieces you can put them down and then cover with a large plastic tarp. (Which can be found at local paint stores.) Simply tape the plastic to the wall (making sure it's non-scarring tape) and you're ready to go. (By the way, the plastic tarps are also excellent wrestling rings for oil matches.) |
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First Aid Skills For Life is an excellent resource for finding what material you'll need. |
 Also, one should consider whether you should wear condoms. Even if there isn't any actual sexual contact involved in a match there is a chance a participant can become overly aroused. What I'm mostly referring to is semen fluid getting rubbed into open bruises of your opponent. According to the CDC there has never been a documented case of HIV infection due to participation in any one certain sport. This does not mean though that it couldn't occur. Also, you may want to consider the other wrestler's feelings about the secretion of sexual fluids during a non-sexual match. (Even if it is unintentional.) More information can be found at CDC's website which is linked to the image at the left. |
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 If all else fails and the match just isn't progressing the way you want then quit. Just end it. Better to cut your losses and try to get psyched up to try again later. Many first contacts don't succeed because one or both wrestlers aren't willing to respect each other's limitations. Without this respect you have no reason to set up matches. You're wasting your opponents time and your own. |
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If you didn't have a good match with someone don't necessarily consider it the fault of your opponent. Too many factors to even mention go into a successful match. |
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Did he... Finally, remember to have fun! Be as serious as you want on the mats as long as you can smile afterward. |
There are already some very good sites which have lists of other wrestlers throughout the world. Instead of repeating their endeavours the URLs to their pages are listed below. What I'd like to do myself is offer adivise and suggestions to make the most out of your meetings. Hopefully this advice will help solve possible problems which could occur. Any additions readers may have would be greatly appreciated.
Specifically state which holds are positively forbidden. Now, don't sit there and think, 'Screw you, I want a real no holds barred match.' Because if you do you're not wanting a wrestling match you're wanting a street fight. And believe me, people who want to street fight have a tough time finding opponents for a return match.
...Willing to travel...
And there's one more thing you need to do before you go. Leave a note. Seriously. On your bed, the desk, even on the refrigerator. Whatever you do leave a note. I'm not trying to make everyone paranoid. But in this day and age (another overused phrase I admit) it's best to leave some sort of paper trail of where you're going. Make sure you state not only the address but the person you're seeing, their phone number, and any letters, etc. they may have sent you. Don't be embarrassed by doing this since only if something goes wrong will anyone else see it. And by that time, you may be glad you took the precaution.
VENUE - Okay, you've both agreed what type of match you want, what each other's limitations are, and set a day and time. Now you can sit back and relax, right? Are you hosting this little meeting? If so then there's a few more details you have to look into.
FIRST AID - The most important preparation is usually the most overlooked. A first aid kit. Have a small bag on hand so if an injury does occur you're not running back and forth between the bathroom and your wrestling area. (This should be of special concern for those who meet in hotel or motel rooms.) It may be a good idea to have the local hospitals phone number as well. Even having this information on non-wrestling trips can have its advantages.
DURING - Don't be afraid to evoke a cooling off period if things get too out of hand. Both of you should be willing to give each other room if it seems that the match is going beyond the pre-set boundaries you both decided upon. Changing the mood and dynamics of a match-in-progress is more than appropriate. But remember, some people won't immediately exclaim disapproval of their opponents actions. So if he or she suddenly explodes and says knock it off don't be surprised. Take it in stride and don't repeat what you just did. It's better to lose a little pacing and intensity than to have your opponent quit.
AFTER - When all is said and done hopefully it will be an enjoyable experience for both of you. If not, you shouldn't consider the time spent to be a total loss. Compare your correspondence with what actually occurred. After doing this a few times you'll better be able to gauge what to expect from people by their ads, demeanor, and how they handle pre-match preparations.
When asked to be a reference for a former opponent consider these questions...