1973 from The Cat #4
``I was a skinny weakling when I enrolled, now I've gained 30 pounds in just 45 days. I am truly amazed, I'm going to be dynamite on the beach."
 ...and guest starring B. Abbott being saved from drowning in the kiddie pool...on the next...Baywatch!

``I'm transforming all of the fat off my body and changing it into rock-hard muscle. It's amazing - I have lost 8 inches off my waist. I can actually see my muscles growing from day to day."
But unfortunately I tried out for the B. Abbott episode of Baywatch and wasn't picked. Due to my muscle mass I can't float. My acting career is ruined. Thanx a lot.

``FEEL 100% BETTER - You can't help but feel great once you own a muscular body."
Yes, but you have to remember to feed him, bathe him, and allow him to use the Ferrari at least once a week.

1975 from Police Action #1
``Very few men are satisfied with the way they look at themselves"
Not really. I've got a Tom Cruise face glued to the mirror.

``We guarantee to improve your body far beyond what you've ever believed possible!"
Oh, you use those electric penis pumps.

1978 from Scary Tales #16
``TAKE YOUR CHOICE!...build powerful muscles...fast! Lose fat! Gain muscular weight! Double or triple your strength! Trim your waist! Feel Better"
Excuse me...there is no square to mark `All Of The Above.'

``Face it, unless you do something about it, your body gets worse; day by day it gets uglier!"
Sure you're not talking about Congress?

``Your new muscles will feel like Dynamite!"
Thick, unbending sticks that shouldn't get too close to open flames

Unknown
“Other men will respect and envy you - you’ll have the build that ALL girls admire!”
Take that, reverse it, thank you.

Unknown
“You can have this...barrel chest.”
I’d rather tap his keg.